My daughter is 10 and wants to live with her dad. What should I do?

He got a temporary ex parte with tons of lies.My husband and I had an arguement, ( first one in a long time) and she called the police. No charges, but she told her dad, and now they have falsely accused me of so many things!!!! Karma for them, I hope. I am a great mother, work at her school, and a model citizen. I have a college degree, and he dropped out of High School, and got kicked out of the military. I had her young and still managed all of my goals in life. She wants to live there b/c she is not told no, and is SPOILED! Grandparent's are Rich and live next door to them. Our lawyer said that I can fight them and win but it could take 6-8 months or longer and tens of thousands of dollars. In Mississippi, at 12 years a kids can decide where they want to live. Should I fight, or let her go???

My daughter is 10 and wants to live with her dad. What should I do?
If this is what she really wants to do, I would let her go. I would make sure ALL paperwork is in order. Including a statement that if the child changes her mind the father will allow her to return to you without a hassle and without a court order. IF he will agree to your terms, then I would let her go. IF he will not agree to the terms I would NOT let her go and then explain to the Judge why you were against her going to her father's. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you get it in WRITING AND HAVE IT NOTORIZED. Also in case your attorney has NOT informed you of this, a child in Mississippi at the age of 12 has a right to have a INPUT and state their choice on where they want to live, BUT a judge does not always go with that. They are not required too. The Judge has to consider the overall home the child will be living and if you can prove his home unstable/unfit, then it will not matter that your child wants to live there, the Judge will not allow it. But proving either of those is extremely hard to do. I live in Mississippi, and have been there. Good Luck.
Reply:That is a tough decision and one you should think hard about. Pros and cons. If it were me, as hard as it would be. I would let her go. See if you dont fight it and he would agree for her to go temporarily for say 3mo or 6mo. Maybe your daughter will then realize you cant buy love. She will miss you. Make sure you'll still get to see her. Hopefully they'll come to an agreement. Go on vacation, keep your mind busy. I'm so sorry this is happening to you. In the end, your daughter will realize what a wonderful mother you are, unfortunately that will take time.
Reply:As a mother, I understand your feeling completely. It's hard to let go of your child. It's true at her age, she can decide. Just be supportive to her. Don't talk bad about your ex to her, it's only making her angry toward you. Remember - she loves her dad, but she also loves you. Don't make her choose. Talk to your daughter and tell her that you love her. Tell her that you are here for her should she wants to come back to you.





Love is to let another person chooses what he/she wants -- not forcing him/her to be with you or follow you.





Read John 3:16 and you'll understand what love is all about.
Reply:The truth is the truth and it will all come out in court.You cant blame you daughter for going where she can always get her way and have all the goodies money can bring.I think you should fight and go fore as fat a child support/alimony as possible.win or lose this way when your daughter matures she will come to appreciate the effort you put forth.
Reply:You need to sit down and explain everything to her and let her make her own decision. At 10-12 years old a child can make their own decisions.
Reply:its the same situation with my brother in my family. my parents are divorced and have been since he wa about 3 or 4. my dad is very strick about what he can do and such things like that, my mother is not and lets him do whatever he wants (to an extent of course, nothing to get himself hurt or in trouble with the law) my father has tried for many years to try to get him to come live with him, he refuses. my brother tries to deny it but everyone sees it (even my parents). he says its because he will miss my mom too much but thats a bunch of BS the only reason that he wants to live with my mom is because he can do what he wants to.
Reply:If you decide not to fight it, you will find many days where your carrying around a big guilt bag. I know!! BUT if she's bound and determined that $$$$ is more importnat than your love and dicipline, then I'd have to say, let her go. She'll learn who lies and who really lost!!





Once a child makes up their mind, best off to let them go. It just causes more heart ache.





Try hard to not carry that guilt bag ok I did for years. It only caused me stress no one else.
Reply:My mom went through this with my brother. She let him move with my dad. He moved back within a year. Let her make the choice she may think that she will have more when she lives with her dad but may decide later that it isn't what she thought it would be. This way she gets to see for herself and she doesn't resent you for stopping her.